by rick_patterson | Jan 24, 2021 | Apology, Failure, Growth, Shame, truth
What is Truth? The Great Exposer “What is truth?” is the rhetorical question made famous by Pilate during the interrogation of Jesus. This has become the non rhetorical question in today’s world. We struggle to understand the possibility of “alternative facts”....
by rick_patterson | Jan 17, 2021 | Courage, Psychology, Shame, Suicide
Suicide: the Hidden Time Bomb I just went to a funeral for a young man who had just graduated college and was preparing to begin his adult life. He committed suicide. Like with many suicides, his family and friends were left uttering the words “we had no idea”. What...
by rick_patterson | Jan 3, 2021 | Christianity, Guilt, Shame
Shame vs Guilt is one of the most frequent topics I address. This is partly because much of my work is done in Christian circles and “guilt” is the operative word among Western Christians. Further, as a result of our Christian heritage and DNA in the US, it’s a...
by rick_patterson | Dec 31, 2020 | Christianity, Compassion, Courage, Empathy, Shame
“I’m tired boss…. Remember that from the Green Mile?” And his look said the rest. Now what? Toward the end of my time in ministry, I can remember standing in the back of the church building as worship was starting. This guy, who I’ve always...
by rick_patterson | Dec 27, 2020 | Division, Hate, Shame
A Physical Ailment Mutates to an Emotional Ailment In 2020 this nation and the world came under attack from a virus – a type of coronavirus to be precise. This virus has caused the death of millions globally and will probably go down as one of the deadliest in...
by rick_patterson | Nov 24, 2020 | Uncategorized
Shame and embarrassment get confused quite often though there’s been a lot written about the similarities and differences. This is to shame’s benefit. The insidious and toxic ability of shame is never more present than in its ability to disguise itself as...
by rick_patterson | Feb 15, 2020 | Apology, Psychology, Shame
Apologizing is key to defeating shame. The apology is a powerful tool in the arsenal in the war against shame. In fact, apologizing defeats shame. If you’ve followed my work, you know I call the apology the nuclear option in the war against shame. However, accepting...
by rick_patterson | Sep 9, 2019 | Psychology, Shame
Shame seems like it’s your ally – when your feelings are hurt, it will come to your rescue Shame’s primary goal is to “protect” you from getting your feelings hurt. As soon as your feelings are hurt, shame will come to the rescue to offer...
by rick_patterson | Sep 5, 2019 | Narcissism
The main driver in narcissism is to be known as being great. That’s it. You don’t actually even have to be great as long as you are known for being great all will be well. The need is a force that’s almost uncontrollable. Birth of narcissism and the need for...
by rick_patterson | Aug 20, 2019 | Courage, Failure, Growth, Narcissism, Shame, Uncategorized
Narcissists hate criticism. Let’s be blunt about that. It’s almost unbearable. But overcoming shame (and narcissism as a result) means dealing with criticism. When a person with shame based narcissistic tendencies such as me does something creative, they...
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